Following the return from my holiday I managed to catch up with Lesley at the hospital, who had had a stroke.

She is doing so well and coming home soon. I cried when I saw her. I had such a surge of emotions about my best friend.

It felt so good to see her progress but I can't help questioning why we have to be put through so much trauma.

I was delighted to see her getting better but maybe somewhere in there there was a little mixed-up and selfish tear for myself because I can't.

I met up with my uncle and auntie. Uncle Brian had been treated for prostate cancer.

It was kind of strange comparing notes, certainly not the type of conversation I could ever have contemplated having with him as a child. What is for certain is that none of us can ever know what is going to happen to us.

For me it reinforces the importance of living for the day and making the best of every moment. I was abandoned by my children for a couple of days.

I would like to say Tom and I made the most of the time but sadly I felt unwell so I took to my bed on Thursday.

On Friday I had my treatment at the hospital. My blood test results were okay and treatment went smoothly.

I have been given a letter regarding my medication and a card I have to give to the dentist advising of precautions.

The treatment I am having can cause osteoconcrosis, a fairly severe breakdown of the jaw bone. I think Tom sees it as a good reason for me to try and rest mine by talking less. I managed to sort out our holiday photos into albums.

I have made separate memory books for the boys and put some sunset pictures of just me and Tom into a special album for him. I think they will make a special keepsake of a memory.

My friend Sonia called me this week and said she had come home from work to find her children jumping up and down excitedly in front of the television. They said they had heard the good news that a cure had been found for cancer.

Sadly for me it was not a cure for my cancer but I felt very touched by the generous show of emotion.

Mum and her husband David called over and we all wandered down to Carats cafe and had ice creams. Back home I burnt a roast dinner.

Oh well, my intentions were good.

Jacob went to a party at Babylon Lounge and I thought it would be a good idea to cycle.

It was late when we left and I was getting frantic as we only had back lights and I was desperate for the boys to have an early night with school the next day. I felt so jitterish about them going back, especially with Lewis starting a new school.

I am unhappy about the holidays ending because it has been so good and also because I don't like endings.

I know I have to face up to my own work situation but I am still finding it all quite difficult.

I drove them to school and walked Lewis to the assembly hall but I really didn't want to leave him.

I am sure I was just as bad when Jacob started middle school but I don't remember finding it so hard to let go.

When it was time for the school run, I waited eagerly in the crowd of parents trying to catch a glimpse of Lewis's face.

Both boys had had a good day. From there it was time for our eye tests.

Both boys have excellent vision but mine seems to be deteriorating along with the rest of me. It was about 6pm by the time we got home.

I had overdone things and was desperate for a lay down but I had to help with homework and it was time to cook dinner. It was all getting to me and I fell asleep straight after dinner.

I am cross with myself because I wanted more time with the boys tonight and to hear more about school.

It is times like these that make me feel frustrated. I want to do the best for my children but the tiredness takes over.

After dropping the boys at school I had my weekly pampering session then drove to my friend Julia's in Worthing. When I arrived my head started doing its thing.

It is very difficult to describe it because it is not a headache but a kind of pumping feeling that makes me feel dizzy.

I am getting at least two or three a day. It wore off but the tell-tale signs of a migraine hit.

I had the dilemma of knowing that if I took the tablets I would need to lie down and if I didn't, I would be sick.

I chose to take the pills and it didn't ruin things at all. Julia was the perfect hostess. I lay down for a while while she prepared lunch.

We have worked together for more than 20 years and she took me under her wing when I first started.

After school I managed to take another rest. My head still didn't feel right and I have a feeling of pins and needles in my mouth and hands which was strange.

I tell myself not to be paranoid about things but I do worry and feel a little like a time bomb.